Everything fits! — thought Little Red Riding Hood. What a neat and logical theory! It is so simple and natural, that it couldn’t be any other way! Indeed, it’s clear there was some big bang, that caused this whole story! So were there any other possibilities for Christopher Robin’s rifle to fall exactly on that part of the forest clearing, where so many bears and pigs gathered?
And then Little Red Riding Hood briefly imagined what it would be like if, out of fright, not a bear but a pig ran up a tree. And that it would be pigs who would drink fermented honey and quarrel, and then fall from the trees, hitting with branches exactly those areas of the brain responsible for theories. And that because of this they would become humans and condemn us, their descendants, to such a miserable existence…
And although the probability of this was also very small, Little Red Riding Hood realized that such a probability cannot be excluded. These thoughts became so tiring that Little Red Riding Hood put aside her homework and began to think about how nice it would be to become a scientist and earn royalties.
She wouldn’t have invented sad theories. The real world is much better if we think of it that way! Little Red Riding Hood imagined how chance formed two wonderful bears at the North Pole. And that both were already almost humans, because they began to enjoy watching the Northern Lights, and the sense of beauty arises only in humans when observing nature. And so, under the influence of the Northern Lights, the male and female whose brains developed in a human direction, met each other and started talking about the beauty of the Northern Lights. They fell in love at first sight simply because all the other bears did not appreciate beauty and that’s how the Winnie-the-Poohs came about. They turned brown simply because over time they moved to forests, closer to Christopher Robin’s house, who gave them clothes and somehow helped them find their way in life.
Then Little Red Riding Hood pondered — how she could successfully sell her theory and everything would be fine, if she hadn’t fallen asleep at that moment.